


All Along

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Anniversary celebration, Anxiety, Attempted Rape, Borderline Personality Disorder, Budding Romance, Confrontation, M/M, Mood stabilizers, Moving On, Protective!Rob, Roofies, Self Harm Scars, Sharing Clothes, Slow love making, Starvation, Stress, alcohol use, attempted suicide, proposal, self mutilation, therapy sessions, triggered reactions, unwanted blow jobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell





	

Nothing ever really ends, but there comes a time in a person's life where a choice must be made to move on from the situation at hand especially when it proved to be toxic. Even though he was the older one in this couple, Richard took more damage dealt his way due to issues left unaddressed that spiraled out of control. There had been so much tension it could be felt as soon as the other stepped into the room, making him cringe especially if the other started being abusive.

It started subtly late one evening when the two were curled together on the second-hand couch after a long day of work when light kisses were pressed into the hollow of his neck along known endogenous zones, which gained a slight chuckle despite denying the affectionate attempts.

“I appreciate the sentiment, babe, but I’m not in the mood tonight.”

“Are you sure?” Matt asked in a seductive voice while lifting up to kiss his lover on the lips, “Hopefully this will change your mind”

“Mattie…”

“Shh, let me take care of my man.”

A protest formed, yet died away as a yelp was released from being pinned down onto those flattened cushions, heart lurching in fear as those warm, candy apple eyes darkened with a hunger left unsatiated, the front of his jeans tightening in betrayal.

“I can feel how hard you are, baby. Give in to it.”

“I said no!” Rich exclaimed, struggling against unwarranted touches to the obvious bulge straining against cotton confines, panicking when his wrists were in the process of being bound behind his head to the point where a punch was thrown; he had never harmed his lover before, and it felt sickening to hear a fist connect with the chiseled jaw even though protection was sought, stomach dropping at watching reality return to the advancer before it turned into anger at almost being taken advantage of, “What the hell has gotten into you?!”

“I don’t know, Richie, I’m sorry.” 

“That's all you have to say after trying to force yourself onto me?” he scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief as tears clouded his vision, blinking profusely in time to see the other trying to get close enough to comfort him, “Don’t touch me!” 

“Rich…”

“No, I can't deal with this right now, I’m staying with Rob. I’ll come back for my things tomorrow.” 

Over the course of a few months such a cycle began to grow steadily worse. There were nights where Rich had to stay with close friends as he spent the night tucked away on recliners or tucked away into guest rooms, but even safety did not seem promising. The last night that he returned home, Matt remained in a respectful behavior although romantic gestures were rejected since Richard could barely look at him.

Those slender fingers had roamed an area of flesh left uncovered during the next night after being convinced that nothing would transpire except gentle caresses kept above the waist. It was naive to trust a man who seemed more like a stranger than when they first met, and to have drank an offered cocktail camouflaging a narcotic mixed in. Cursing himself, a numbed piece of flesh was taken into a warm palm that in any other circumstance would have been welcomed. If only it had been one of those times.

“Get it over with already...” Rich pleaded, yet his trembling form proved otherwise. 

“I don’t want this to end too soon.”

“P-Please make it stop,” he let out in a soft sob, voice breaking as he continued on, “I c-can't take this anymore, can't move.”

“That's the point.”

Fate had been accepted in those moments as blame was personally assigned, for there must have been deserved for an act done wrong. Hadn’t he been a good boyfriend? Perhaps not, or a light suction to the tip of his cock wouldn’t make him want to gag as Matt continued up the lengthened shaft until a nose rested in messy curls once the back of a skilled throat was hit in a dead end. 

It was all that could be thought about the next day as hours ticked by to finally announce that the visitor had arrived, which prevented him from pulling away from the tightened hug even though it did not end until the embrace was relaxed into, eyes closing to savor comfort that was missed out on in a newly created hostile environment.

“Rich, you never hold on for this long,” Rob mused in concern, trying to pull away in an unsuccessful attempt to look at his best friend in the face as the other tightened his grip, “I say this with all the love in the world, but you look horrible.”

“I feel that way too, but it's nothing to worry about.” he remarked, shifting uncomfortably in the seat where it had all started, but he would rather be consumed than confess such dark secrets to a best friend dealing with personal demons.

“Like hell it isn't! You’re malnourished and have bruises I can clearly see, so if you won't talk I’ll call Matt, I’m sure he is worried sick.”

“I wish I could tell you, Robbie, but I-I can't. Please don't call him…”

“He’s your partner, surely he doesn't want you to suffer.”

“No, he's the reason I’m suffering!” Richard blurted out in desperation as an incisor bit down into plush pink.

“What do you mean?”

“I shouldn't have said anything, it was wrong of me to do so. I don't want to upset anybody.”

“Rich, has he hurt you?”

Every fiber of his being screamed to make a confession fully be voiced, yet that rising tide of bile in the back of a throat made raw by rough rutting until seed was spilled, and swallowed to prevent a verbal attack. If he behaved then the person initially fallen in love with temporarily returned, and that made it worth drinking an unwanted liquid meal since it was the only form of subsistence left completely untainted. No matter how much explanation was spent no justification could account for stooping so low.

“Of course not,” an additional voice spoke before enough courage could be summoned to try and tell his best friend the truth, “I would never do such a thing to my beloved.”

“Mattie, what are you doing home so early?”

“Can't I surprise my boyfriend without being interrogated? I wanted to do something nice for you, babe.”

“Should I leave and let you boys have some privacy?” Rob asked innocently, yet those pale blue eyes never left him for long as the situation was fully assessed.

“If you wouldn't mind, Rob, that'd be kind of you.” 

Light faded from hopeful amber eyes as the guest left, yet no blame was assigned to the decision. He was familiar with disappointment by now, but it still stung seeing someone so important turn away easily as the front door clicked closed.

“What did you tell him?” Matt asked in a cold voice while those bulbs of sight dilated in anger.

“N-Nothing…” Richard mused in a near whisper while his chin tilted for a moment before it was pulled up harshly, teeth clacking together in response.

“Look at me when I'm talking to you.”

“I didn't tell him, promise!” 

“Either way, punishment is in order. Follow me.”

Gulping softly, each footstep echoed hollowly as the hardwood floor creaked underneath in a chorus of chiding voices singing out an unavoidable fate. The sense of foreboding made a sensitive stomach knot tightly in anticipation of the deserved act for reaching out to the only one that could be relied on, but it should have been known he was not worth rescuing.

“I’ve been saving this for a while, but since Robbie brought up the idea of sex I thought it was about time.”

“Mattie, no!” he exclaimed in vain as he began to back away, “I’ll behave. P-Please, I don’t want this, I want the real you back!”

“Oh, honey, this is the real me.” 

A slight fight was put up despite it becoming a losing battle, for each time the older man struggled it helped to remove another article of clothing until a completely nude form laid on the comforter, a flaccid cock signaling that consent was not a factor though it was ignored while the lengthened member was massaged with rough squeezes. Denim thudding to the floor caused a string of protests, yet lips sealed over his for a long moment as knees straddled narrow hips, a small smirk enhancing fear felt.

“Baby, please… This isn’t you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he retorted, a hand stroking an unprotected thigh, “No one can hear you, so relax and enjoy it.”

In that moment nearly all hope faded away, the only sound that could be heard was a hammering heart that twitched in panic once a door burst open, an incomprehensible shout heard as the intruder barreled into a corrupted loved one to be knocked into the floor and pounced onto before retaliation occurred. 

“Matt, whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t.”

“It's none of your business.”

“When it comes to protecting my friends it does. Can’t you see what this is doing to him?”

“It's not my fault that he can't handle it.”

“For fuck’s sake, listen to yourself! What happened to the guy who wanted to marry Rich because you didn't believe in love until he showed up?” Rob dared to ask, ice blue eyes freezing the other in place even as he lifted up and turned much needed attention to his best friend.

“R-Robbie?” 

“I’m here, buddy, not going to leave you,” he soothed as the discarded boxers were picked up, “Going to get you dressed and then take you home. You two should spend some time apart.”

“I don't want to leave Matt.”

“It won't be forever, but you need time to recover. Will you do that for me, come to ole Robbie’s house for a few days?” 

Three months seemed like forever, but those first few weeks were the hardest adjusting to living in the main bedroom instead of being forced to sleep in a crowded part of the room where the occupant moved to.

“You deserve some comfort after what happened. I’ll let you get settled in while I start dinner.”

Rich was about to retort that no food was needed, yet it would not do any good since Rob insisted it was needed, and he could never turn down an offer from such a good friend. To pass the time, he became familiar with the room while pacing back and forth, for only one thought was focused on. He had not been aware that there were intentions to get engaged, to start a family that might have increased in size if circumstances were different. 

He sat in the middle of a chocolate brown comforter tucked neatly into the box spring trying unsuccessfully to not capsize in an emotional ebb tide. A small burst of anger made him tear at the corners and curl between those layers as he buried impossibly deeper to escape and find warmth. Bags under lifeless golden irises weighed down heavily, yet an additional presence sensed alerted an automatic panic.

“I know I deserve it, Mattie, just m-make it quick.” the last part was a whisper, wincing even though there was no physical contact when that was expected, “I didn't mean to make you mad, I just want you to get help.”

“Let’s work on getting you back to full health first,” Rob suggested, keeping his distance once a platter was set down on the bedside table, “I made some sandwiches, and brought water. I hope that will suffice for now, it's been a while since I’ve had someone over.”

“It's better than what I've been fed lately, thanks.” the older man offered with a shrug as a tuna sandwich was picked up, nibbling at a corner to get used to solid food before tucking in with reawakened hunger.

“Slow down, hon, or you’ll get a tummy ache.”

“Can't help it, I haven't eaten in months.” 

“Rich, was that the first time that he tried to, umm…” Rob trailed off uncomfortably. 

“No, but it's never been as bad as it was earlier. I'm sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t be, I'm just glad I got there in time to save you.”

“Can we talk about something else?” he asked, eyes downcast while reaching out for a slightly calloused hand, “Can you keep me company tonight?”

“Are you sure that's a good idea?”

“I'm afraid to be alone right now. I-I’m having bad thoughts, and I don't know what I will do.”

“As long as it won't trigger you.”

“At least you will be with me if it happens.”

If you know someone who needs a little assistance, don't you want to do all you can to help? Rob could not deny the other despite the broken down demeanor attempting to stay stable even as a grip on sanity was slowly being lost. It broke his heart not being able to do much more than sit back and let Rich decide what was needed, yet he had to be strong for both of them. 

“Robbie? Do you think Matt will go back to how he used to be?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” he confessed, wrapping an arm loosely around the other’s middle so as not to touch anywhere that might provoke a negative reaction, “Even if he does, why would you want to go back?”

“I still love him, and deep down he still cares about me.”

“How can you say that after what he did? If he cared about you then he wouldn't have violated you.” 

“Not like anyone else loves me, Mattie told me that.”

“Well, he’s wrong, and I’ll be damned if you let him control how you think because you are so loved.” 

Tears threatened to be shed as a lashed threshold was breached with a burning sensation, but he managed to contain those liquid emotions as sapphires were stared into once Richard got the courage to lift up in the embrace and press into softened lips. For a moment everything appeared normal until the receiver of the kiss began to slowly disconnect in order to give distance to each other, a small panic stirring in a sensitive soul as it was noticed. Now he had managed to push away the two men he loved most in a single night.

“Rich…”

“Don't say it, I’ll leave.” he blurted in a hurry, not wanting to hear those words come from the only source of solace left. His legs dangled off of the mattress edge when firm fingers filled the space between his own to hold the older man in place.

“I wasn’t going to say that, hon, you have a place here.”

“It doesn't feel like it,” he mused, unable to stop a soft sob from wracking his emaciated form which grew louder in volume despite being muffled by a tight cotton shirt buried into when he turned around, “I'm lost without him.”

“It won't be easy, I get it, but I am here to help you.”

“Even after the stunt I pulled? I ruined our friendship.”

“Not at all,” Rob reassured, placing a small peck against the furrowed brow, “I've had feelings toward you for a while now, but that should be the least of your worries. Let's focus on making you better and then we’ll see where we go from there.” 

“Will you still stay with me, please?”

“How could I say no?” 

Relieved, Rich wiped at drying tears before nuzzling into a broadened chest to resume an earlier position though it was difficult to fall asleep. Every time his eyes closed an image of the attacker was envisioned with that gloating grin contorting soft facial features into an unrecognizable mask. Muscles spammed in a battle of relaxing and tensing, yet every time he awoke the serenely sleeping face above was enough to calm bouts of restlessness until a full rest came in the early morning hours interrupted when the younger man was nowhere to be found. 

Initial dread rose to the forefront of a broken mind, yet it faded once a combination of aromas spread through the small home causing a neglected stomach to growl loudly. Curiosity got the best of him as the heavy bedspread was pushed aside while weakened legs were tested on faded grey carpet before walking over to take down a fluffy robe from behind the closed door, belt left loosely tied as he padded down a dimly lit corridor. The sight of him bent over a slightly worn out stove brought a weak smile to life while a seat was taken directly across from the other. It almost seemed normal, as if the two had lived together for years.

“About time you woke up. I was about to bring breakfast to bed,” Rob gave with a soft chuckle as a spatula scooped a few rounded ovals onto an awaiting platter, “Hope I didn't wake you coming in and out of the house, I went to get groceries so you had food that you like.”

“You didn't have to.”

“I did. Can't have you getting sick because I didn't have lactose free milk.”

Rich wanted to say that the pain was deserved, but for some unknown reason it faded in favor of taking inventory of what was on the menu this morning. Besides the obvious stack of pancakes, a plate filled with chewy bacon and eggs accompanied it. Another dish held an assortment of muffins dotted with small stains of coloring while the others held no imperfections in the batter, French toast, and thickly glazed donuts. 

“You went all out, eh Robbie?” he joked although an immediate backtrack came as a sudden flinch was made when the other moved to place each plate in the center of the table.

“Well, I wasn't sure what you’d have a craving for, so I figured it would be easier to make a bunch and let you pick.”

“There's a catch though, isn't there?”

“You have to eat a fruit.” Rob answered, offering a bowl of strawberries before setting a mug filled with black coffee next to it. 

“Ugh, you know my kryptonite…”

“I'm using it for the greater good though.”

“Sounds pretty evil to me.”

“Oh hush, and pick your poison already. The food is getting cold.”

“Didn't it just come off of the stove?”

“Touché…” Rob grumbled in a teasing manner before attention was directed to cleaning the counter and setting pans in the sink to soak prior to occupying a chair in front of the guest, “How does it taste?”

“Amazing. Kudos to the cook.” the other winked in a familiar manner as he pocketed chewed dough into his cheek to take a swig of coffee, his lip lingering on the brim for too long. It nearly went unnoticed until the soggy lump poked out.

“Richard Speight, stop.” 

He flinched so hard that the mug fell from a loose grip held as a dark stain seeped into the tablecloth, fixated on it instead of looking up in fear of what might appear. Even though there had been no violence associated with this person, he still assumed disappointment was felt since recovery did not come naturally, but it could not measure to how magnified personal berating was given in an endless cycle. 

“I’m sorry… Thought you might change your mind and make me spit it out.”

“Honey, I made all this food for you, so why would I take it back? I didn't even reach for any when I sat down.”

“Mattie did, he would say that I was too fat and did not deserve food because I overate.”

“Well, you can eat to your heart’s content here,” Rob confirmed, moving to sit in the seat directly next to the guest, “I can count your ribs through that robe.”

“Will you feed me?”

“Of course, sweet thing. How about we start with this?” 

A piece of French toast with a missing corner was the selected slice had been in the process of being consumed before it was noticed as a fallacy. Breaking off a chunk, he waited patiently until it disappeared behind roughly chapped lips and watched while it was visibly swallowed. Repeating the process caused another slice to be eaten along with a strip of bacon, half of a pancake and the bowl of berries. The eggs had long since grown cold, yet a few spoonfuls were swallowed before no more could be eaten lest it be regurgitated.

“There, don't you feel better now that you've had a meal?”

“If you can call it that.”

“It will take time, but hopefully you'll be able to eat regularly soon enough.” Rob reasoned as his wrists disappeared under sudsy water to begin scraping away at stains as a brow furrowed in concentration. 

“Robbie, why is there a sticky note on the microwave with a reminder on it? Did you forget something?”

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” he sighed, tongue pinned between incisors as if afraid to explain the reason despite needing to, “Please don't get angry, but I scheduled an appointment for you to see a therapist I used to see for my depression.” 

“Why? Being here with you is all I need.”

“No it isn't, Rich. It's been two weeks and you still aren't recovering. It scares me, and I won't make you go, but it would be for the best.”

“Will you be there with me?”

“I told her that you have trouble walking by yourself, so I can help you into the room. I can't stay in there with you, but I'll be in the waiting area until your time is over.”

“I want to go, but I don't have any clothes.” 

“Luckily we’re the same size.”

“I'm going to go get dressed then.” Richard stated, offering a weak smile as he lifted from his chair to walk on shaky legs. The limp was forgotten momentarily in haste of stepping into dark grey sweats after attempting to pull on jeans prior to a violent shudder slithering down his spine at the echo of how heavily the pair fell to the floor, a plain white shirt pulled over slightly greasy hair hanging off at weird intervals where defining features used to be. It was simple, but being slightly productive helped to lighten lingering embarrassment that set the tone at the dining table making him oblivious to a light knock on the door until it cracked open in a startling manner.

“It's just me, just wanted to check and see if you're ready to go.”

“I am.” the older male agreed, taking a step forward only to be stopped by a flattened hand gently applied to a bony chest.

“Can't leave the house with untied shoes, or you'll trip, and we don't want to risk that.” the younger man remarked while kneeling down to work on looping shoestrings together on both feet, standing only after handiwork was admired to make sure neither would come undone.

Offering an arm, Rob escorted the other outside and held the passenger side door open until a leather seat was sank into comfortably, slipping in behind the wheel quickly so it was not mistaken for leaving him alone. It seemed to go by in a hurried blur, for it took no time at all leaving the driveway to arrive at a small clinic that might have gone by unnoticed otherwise if the driver did not know where the building was located, the engine immediately cut off once they were parked close to the entrance. 

Richs heart counted each passing second, leaping in anticipation each time the door separating patients from the adjourning rows of offices opened, his hand squeezed sympathetically. 

“Everything's going to be okay.” he reassured, pressing a knuckle to his lips while filling out required paperwork.

“Should I be worried that you know my social security number without having to ask?”

“I haven't stolen your identity.”

“Why would anyone want to especially now?”

“If I could have taken your place then you know I would have after everything you've done for me.”

“Are you saying you're repaying a debt you think you owe?”

“No, I'm protecting a selfless soul that deserves to be shown as much love as he gives. It's right in front of you, I wish you could see it for yourself.” he protested, blushing at the sudden outburst basically confirming how he felt toward a long term best friend as a forming apology died away once another familiar face showed, “Looks like it's finally time for your appointment with Mandy.”

“But Robbie…”

“We’ll talk later, don’t want to take away from your time with her.” he confirmed, helping the other to stand as the two walked in tandem down to a corner room lit only by a single lamp while a striped love seat in multiple shades of brown was settled onto.

“Robbie, please don't go…” 

“I have to, but I won't be far, remember?”

Nodding a few times, he reluctantly let go of the younger man only to pull him closely in order to attempt another kiss given as a peace offering that was accepted for a long moment, the building tension washing away even when the two were forced to part. 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to take away from the seriousness of why I’m here.” Rich started off despite not actually being sorry at all. In the background of a harsh criticizing mind that small moment never thought to happen played on repeat.

“No need, you seemed scared and he could sense it,” the therapist responded as she settled into an armchair set next to the doorframe at a diagonal angle, feet clad in black heels crossed at the ankles caused a mottled skirt to billow slightly past bent kneecaps, “What brings you here today… Richard, was it?”

“Yes ma'am. It’s, uh, sort of complicated.”

“Well, we have an hour if you’d like to elaborate a little.” 

A long moment of silence settling in the air made for an inward cringe to come every time his mouth opened slightly to start speaking, cheeks burning hotly until his voice was found without much confidence left in it, “Y-You won't tell Robbie, will you? I'm not ready for him to know all the details.”

“You're worried about it since he's a former client of mine.” 

“That, and he doesn't need to worry more than he already does.”

“Either way he will be concerned. It's a defining characteristic of his.”

“True…” 

“I'm required to keep everything that goes on in this room confidential unless you're planning on hurting yourself, or someone else.”

“I don't want to do that…”

“I would hope not. How about we begin with something simple?” she suggested, skimming through the sheets in hand, “It says here that you're an actor? How has that been working for you?”

“I've had to take a break from it recently, but it went well. That's how I met Matt.”

“Who?”

“My boyfriend, or I guess he’s my ex now. It's hard to tell since a part of me wants to go back, but Rob saved me from that situation and I don't want to mess things up with him.”

“Are you ready to talk about it? You don't have to disclose any information that you don't want to.”

It was considered for a short moment while deep breaths were taken, yet it had been known that secrets kept for too long needed to be exposed, and if it did not start here then where else?

“We were cast in a small show, so our characters never interacted. Neither did we until one day when rehearsal ended early, and we grabbed lunch in the usual way couples start out. It worked, and eventually after a few years of dating I moved into his house, and we lived together until a few weeks ago.” 

“Is it hard adjusting to life without him?”

“It's more difficult each day,” he confessed, thumbs twirling as thoughts collected, “Living without him hurts, but not as much as it did when he started to change. He’s not my Mattie anymore, he's someone else now.”

“Do you feel comfortable enough telling me? You can be vague if it helps.”

“He was never a violent person, but he started to distance himself. I didn't think much of it, I just thought that I was the reason and he needed space. He started coming back around, and everything seemed normal until our last date night where h-he…”

“Take all the time you need, I'm sure this is a sensitive subject.” Mandy soothed, leaning forward to hand over a few tissues when a single tear trailed down and was lost in Rich's beard. 

Lowering blurred eyes, the accepted handkerchiefs were balled between clasped hands while waiting for the sudden bout of sadness to subside as cheeks heated at displaying such unsteady behavior. It was not like him, yet reassurance made it clear that it was alright to let it out in front of her, which gave a small amount of courage to at least start talking about the real reason he came to therapy, “He, uh, tried to force me into doing sexual acts with him. Twice.”

“In the same night?”

“No, the first time was when we were celebrating our six months of living under the same roof. I had a longer than average work day, and I told him that I wasn't in the mood, but it didn't seem to matter. He snapped out of it after getting punched in the face.”

“That was brave of you seeing as how it could have provoked him further.”

“It did, later on. It escalated to him drugging me so I couldn't move, but it kept me awake and aware. I can still feel his mouth around me, it still makes me feel dirty.”

Another appointment was scheduled within the next few weeks as the session came to a close despite protesting. It wasn't that he did not want to come back, but a sense of guilt overwhelmed the victim in knowing that the person whom had taken him in without a second thought was handling the expenses. Eventually a date had been selected within the next two weeks and Rich was enveloped in strengthened arms once he entered the room, his heart hammering hard when his cheek was nuzzled into fondly as if those sixty minutes were years in which they had been separated.

Richard’s heart contracted in a way that had not been felt since he had fallen for his former lover, heated cheeks hidden under slightly matted facial hair as the two returned to the parked vehicle hand in hand and reconnected once their seats were occupied. Soft touches had always been their way of communication when neither knew what to say, but there was an unspoken topic that needed to be discussed, “Robbie, why did you accept my kiss earlier?”

“I didn't want to upset you further.”

“It shouldn't be my biggest concern right now though. Besides I don't deserve love after I threw it away the first time.”

“For fuck’s sake not this again,” Rob sighed loudly, which caused both to jump a little at how abrupt it was while the car pulled alongside the road’s shoulder. When he spoke next his voice was carefully controlled as if fighting off tears, “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“This is bothering you too, isn't it? You’ve bottled it up, and now it's all coming out.”

“I've been so busy taking care of you to acknowledge my issues. You're my priority, Rich.”

“And you're mine. Which is why when we get home you're going straight to bed,” Rich declared, finally feeling something other than despair. Anger filled his veins at the damage done to the other at being forced to witness such a disturbing act, “I can take care of myself for a couple hours.”

Upon arriving home, Rich busied with collecting plush pillows that had been pushed off the edge to put them into a piled position while the comforter was layered with extra blankets before leaving the room to escort Rob inside, lifting a corner to help him inside. His stomach clenched once tired features were noticed in the form of sagging eyelids and paling skin, which only elevated levels of anger towards his attacker despite it and a wave of bubbling nausea were ignored in favor of protecting his savior. Leaning forward, a small peck was pressed into a creased forehead to smooth it out, yet when straightening up an arm anchored him into place as tears stained the borrowed shirt. Despite seeing the younger one countlessly cry over simple situations this particular time disturbed beyond words, the two frozen there in each other's arms until Rich slid in behind and pulled him in close.

“When I burst into that room I thought it was too late,” Robert whispered as his voice was found, “You must have thought that I left, but I hid in one of the bushes and watched what unfolded. Couldn't believe it at first the way he grabbed your face and then your arm. I gagged when he led you in there and almost blamed myself.”

“You are not to blame, babe. Don’t you dare ever think that because it wasn’t, and if I ever see him again he’s going to pay.” Rich declared as a jaw stiffened as tears were fought off. He had to be the strong one now, for he learned it from the best.

“You called me a pet name.”

“Does it bother you? Shit, if I made you uncomfortable, I swear…”

“Didn't expect to hear it with what you've been through is all.”

It had been difficult, no doubt, but a part of him felt that it was time to move on since pining after a twisted individual was no way to continue living even if there had been plans to become engaged. That dream was over. A new life was waiting in the form of a former best friend turning into a lover as weeks turned into months and the two began to express exact emotions as subtle touches turned into confident kisses held in place longer each time they came together. A couple of more counseling sessions throughout the months along with the budding romance returned a recognizable man to a healthy weight and mindset to where he began smiling and laughing again as if nothing had happened between his former partner.

“Guess what, Richie?” the other asked in a teasing tone, nose nuzzled into a newly bearded cheek after it had been shaved to remove tangling hairs, “It's been two months since you asked to be my boyfriend.” 

“We should celebrate. I haven't exactly taken you out on many dates so far,” Rich remarked, squeezing the held hand tightly as a thought crossed his mind, yet it was gone in an instant. That had been the signal agreed on when even the smallest inkling of his abuser came, a thumb gently stroking at the bent fingers until glazed eyes found focus, “I think that I’m ready.”

“Don’t rush on my account. If we never have a sexual side to our relationship it won't make me love you any less.” 

“I've overheard you in the shower imagining how it would feel if I were there. Just want to treat you right.” 

“You have, muffin, in more ways than one especially in your current condition,” Rob stated sweetly before pressing his lips into the thick field of follicles, “I'm proud of how far you've come, and nothing will ever diminish that.”

“Never?”

“Never.” 

It was enough confirmation needed as a head turned to rest against a firm shoulder as his eyes closing in contentment, for this kind of closeness had been given up on until enough courage was summoned to lay against him rigidly at first. Like anything else, it took time, but eventually became easier once it was rationalized that his new love interest would never hurt him on purpose. Rob had also gotten therapy for being a bystander, which had been protested since it was thought to be less serious than actually getting assaulted, but he was coming along fine with self care. Despite the circumstances the two were made for each other.

A faint knock interrupted their cuddle session as the older male excused himself with a soft smooch and a promised return to answer the door. Opening it with leftover enthusiasm from being with his beloved it faded instantly once the newcomer was recognized, his stomach twisting so tightly that bile rose to the back of his throat.

“Hey, Rich, long time no see,” Matt offered. He looked like hell, as if it were him who had been manipulated and mistreated. Cheeks were hollow, and the lively emerald eyes that had once taken the other’s breath away were sunken and murky pools layered with algae, “Can I come in?”

Paralyzed with fear, he could not speak. He tried to remember techniques talked about to calm down, but it had never been discussed how any of them could be used when confronted with his abuser; he had assumed that this day would never come. Focusing on breathing steadily, a voice was found, “What makes you think that I want anything to do with you?”

“Just hear me out. I-”

“Robbie! Robbie, I need you!” he cried out while backing away, falling into a firm body from behind as arms wrapped around his waist in order to give stability.

“What's going on?” he asked, but no answer was needed once he looked up and stiffened in response. 

“Rob, good to see you.”

“Wish I could say the same. Why are you here?” he asked so coldly that Richard shivered in response, pressing closer as if he could disappear. 

“I just want to talk, to explain myself.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, you monster!” 

“Richie…”

“You don’t get to call me that anymore. I hate you!” 

“Baby, shh. I know you’re upset, but you’re scaring me. Where’s my sweetheart, hmm?” Rob soothed, trying to calm him with a soft kiss to caramel colored hair before turning attention back to the intruder, “You get five minutes. No more, no less.”

“But babe…” 

“This will be a good opportunity for closure, and I’ll be right beside you the whole time.” 

Nodding once, Richard was led back to the couch as his significant other filled the cushion beside him, fingers knitting together in support once the third member sat in an armchair angled slightly so he did not face them directly. Busying himself, Rich nervously picked at the fringe of a blanket that was placed in his lap for additional comfort as mottled swirls of yellows, beiges, and darker browns were stared into so long that the cleared throat was barely heard. Reluctantly, he looked at his boyfriend who gave a small, sad smile before glancing toward the unwanted guest.

“Your time starts now.”

“I never meant to hurt you that night, or on any of the others. I spiraled out of control, and I didn't want to hear that I was mentally ill, so I took it out on you. When I snapped out of it the first time and you left for the night, I hurt myself because I thought it was deserved. I tried to fight what I was turning into, but I lost control. I-I’m so sorry.”

“So, instead of seeking professional help you decided to use roofies on me and suck my cock without consent? Tried to rape me twice? Did it ever occur to you that I was in pain because of you?! I thought it was all my fault!” Richard sobbed, his strung out body trembling like a leaf caught in a strong wind despite being anchored down by a firm branch, “I don't want to think about what might have happened if we had gotten married, I’m glad you never proposed like you wanted to.”

“I was diagnosed with a personality disorder. It took several weeks, but the medical team was able to help and get me on mood stabilizers.”

“And you came here for validation? I don't have any sympathy left for you.”

“Richie, can we talk for a minute?” Rob spoke up, helping him stand, “This won't take long. Can I get you something to drink, Matt?”

“Water would be fine, I have to take my pills soon.” 

Closing the kitchen door behind them, he rummaged through a cupboard and retrieved a medium sized glass filling it with ice before putting it under the faucet, “I know he hurt you in unimaginable ways, but at least hear him out. I recall that one of the first things you said when I brought you here was for him to get help, which he has gotten. Isn't a part of you happy?”

“Are you saying I should forgive him? Forget the relationship we've built and run back into his arms?” 

“Of course not, but don't let your anger consume you, okay? You are validated and I'm blinded by how much I love you. Just try not to shut him out without giving a second chance.”

“See, this is why you’re the rational one,” Rich sighed, leaning into his boyfriend as he calmed down, “How do you suggest I do that?”

“Well, it would be a nice gesture to give this to him.”

Gulping gently the tumbler was transferred between the two men into a slightly shaky hand prior to returning where the additional person sat with two slim white pills cupped in his palm. Watching Matt momentarily a sense of deja vu moment fell into place as if it was happening to Rich all over again. It almost made him want to hug the stranger and say that things would end up being alright, but it would be an empty promise. 

“Here.” Richard spoke up, handing over the freezing liquid. It gave rise to an anxious state at having to touch his hand, but the other was careful to not do what was anticipated.

“Thank you. Where’s Rob?” he asked before tilting his head back to swallow the medicine as a wince came with the effort.

“He had to make a phone call.”

“Is he reporting me to the police? I don't blame him.”

“No, he's telling Billy to let the others know rehearsal is canceled for the day. It's not typical, but we’re celebrating two months together as partners.” 

“Glad you found someone better, Rich. You deserve someone who isn't going to jeopardize your life,” Matthew confirmed with a half smile that faltered easily, “Hopefully you can have a family with him like you always wanted.”

“What did you do with the engagement ring? Assuming you had one, Rob did say you planned on popping the question.” 

“I still have it. Guess I should send it back now.” 

The silence swelled on that note as the only sound was a rattling of ice when another sip was taken from the half empty cup, yet there was still more to discuss, “Matt? Can I… Can I hold your hand?” 

“I don't want to trigger you further.” 

“That doesn't matter right now. Please?” 

Confusion crumpling a wrinkled brow, the palm slid into place against another as it was held loosely before being flipped over to examine fading scars, but that was not a concern at the moment. Leaning forward, pale pink lips pressed into a section of unharmed skin where a faint pulse could be felt as it was pecked at for a few seconds before looking back up into those unrecognizable irises as tears reflected in both sets of eyes, “I can't tell you how glad I am that you got help. I'm sorry that I yelled at you, I don't hate you.”

“You have a right too thought. After what I did to you.”

“Yes, but I am choosing to forgive, and I have a request.”

“Anything.” 

“Come back and see us in a month, and celebrate with us. Only this time I hope you will be at a healthier weight.” 

“Nothing would make me happier. Thank you.” Matt answered as he stood to give a brief hug to the other so as not to give any unwarranted attention before parting ways as the missing member of the group slipped out into the living room.

“I’m proud of you, baby.” Rob remarked as he held on in a loosely loving embrace.

“You owe me for that alibi, so how about we take this party to the bedroom?” 

“Alright, if you're certain it won't set you off.”

Grinning slightly, it was his turn to lead the way toward their shared bedroom as he pulled the younger man closer to connect in a timid embrace that grew confident once passion sparked into a kindling flame. Unbuttoning the flannel layer worn by his lover, Richard gently pressed him forward until the back of his legs hit the mattress edge before falling backward onto the newly made bed while wrinkled waves began to lap at his exposed body. It seemed like a perfect evening as the two laid against each other, yet it seemed as if a stall had been set in place since a pair of boxers still blocked an obviously hardened cock.

“Do we need to stop?” 

“No. Give me a second?” 

“Of course. Do you need help taking your underwear off?” 

“Need to do it myself,” he mused in a barely audible tone, blushing as his fingers looped around the waistband and lingered there for a moment that was ended with one swift, fluid motion as the erect member sprang free, “Ready. Pass me the lube?” 

Rummaging in a drawer, Rob produced an almost full bottle of the sticky substance and passed it along to an awaiting hand as it uncapped in an instant and poured in a healthy amount into the opposite palm as it was lathered for additional warmth, “Do you mind it being slow tonight? I know we've never really discussed preferences.”

“Whatever makes you comfortable. This is your choice, and I give my consent to it.” 

“Alright, here goes.” he sighed while stroking himself to apply the lubricant, spreading Rob's thighs wider as the tip of his cock ghosted the tightened hole. A deep breath was taken to confirm confidence as it slowly slid inside and a few thrusts were given to adjust against those firm walls, “Oh Robbie…”

“Sorry to disappoint, it's only my second time with a man. Haven't done this since college.”

“That's not it at all,” he moaned as hips rolled at a slightly tilted angle before he continued to buck ever so sweetly, “Oh good god, you feel amazing!”

“Was it worth the wait?”

“Definitely.” 

“Glad you think so,” Rob grunted as his arms wrapped around the other’s slightly bent neck, “Are you sure it isn't too much at one time?”

“I’m certain. You're all that I've ever wanted and more. I love you, Robert Patrick Benedict, so let me prove it to you.”

“Never doubted it for a second.” 

Beaming brighter than he had in months as dark grey clouds moved out of the way, he continued on as half crescent intentions pierced the skin just above both hips held onto as ecstasy was fully expressed. A slight amount of speed had been applied only when it was mutually agreed upon, the faint slapping of painfully filled testicles hit against a fully stuffed ass being the only noise heard for a long while until the man pinned underneath began to mewl as a stretched out body began to build up to a release. 

“Oh Richie, yes, just like that. Can you feel how close I am?”

“Yes babe, and I’m not far behind. It's been hard holding all of this inside, but when I release its all yours. Every last drop.” 

“I can't wait,” Rob murmured prior to his pupils dilating with lust as he began to shake as he was claimed by such a strengthened climax while soft spurts of cum stained the others abdomen.

“Oh Robbie, mm… Gonna… Soon…” Rich trailed off, for he could not form complete sentences as he shouted unintelligibly. Splotches of purple clouded his visual field as he released in long white ropes inside his lover as promised. He was about to slide out, yet it was ignored in favor of collapsing in a heap and sharing the mess made with its creator while a quilt that had fallen to the floor was draped over them to protect from a naturally chilly room. 

“How was it?” Rich asked cautiously as he nuzzled further into the thin pool with a soft slurp, his cheek resting in the middle of a well defined chest, distracted by the rise and fall of hitched breath beginning to even out in tandem with a slowing heartbeat.

“Mind blowing. I hope I can return the favor one day.” 

“How about on our wedding night?” 

“Huh?” Rob asked dumbfounded as his gaze fell onto a glittering gold object before returning to Richs blushing face.

“I know this isn't the ideal way to propose, but Matt left it as an apology gift. I didn't want to keep it at first, but it's a testament of how far we've come together. Will you marry me?” 

“Oh baby, of course I will. Yes!” 

Tearing up, he slid the band into place where it belonged. Through trials and tribulations the two had withstood those obstacles time and time again, but despite how harrowing many of them had turned out to be it patched the way that had been taken beside each other. Both men had been witness to the others darkest side plagued by deepened worries and while they had not managed to come out entirely clean from these experiences at least they had found a place that had awaited them all along.


End file.
